Re:Divorced dad dealing with ex wife's boyfriend marfanoidus: fatherof3,
I would like to build on the notion that amymarie said.
While trying to find alternate ways of dropping the kids off seem beneficial, fundamentally what you would be doing is trying to find an external remedy for an internal issue.
You may want to try to find it within yourself to honestly and sincerely not give a rats a$$ whether he is around or not, or what look he has on his face.
As long as he is good to your kids, believe me on this, you have much to be thankful for. The Bible says "a soft answer turneth away wrath". Maybe if you took the initiative to be the bigger man, maybe even go out of your way to thank him for being good to your kids, it might effect a change in him.
Even if it doesn't, five years from now, what difference will it make in you rlife if he is giving you looks??? Who cares??? If he wants to act like he's still in elementary school, don't let it bother you.
And of course, you have the ultimate weapon against his juvenile and asenine antics - you have it within your power to completely ignore him. If he's around, just don't make eye contact with him and poof - you've just taken away his gameplan, and you will show him that he's not even important enough to you to look at. Show him you don't care what he thinks.
Who cares what he does?
What does it matter?
If he wants to be a butt, just laugh an giggle that your ex now is living with a child in a man's body.
Perspective, my friend, perspective.
The simple truth is that it is only bothering you because you are choosing to let it bother you. You can just as easily choose to not let it.
good luck to you,
walt
Re:Divorced dad dealing with ex wife's boyfriend matt: Your letter is beyond familiar to what i was going through, after 15 years of marriage, my ex ended up with someone who sought out to ruin my life. Anyway, when she finally admitted she was moving in with him, less than a day after the divorce was final, i told her no way was i going to be picking the kids up at his house. I mean lets face it, the guy had already threatened to kill me. Well, after some soul searching i decided i would do it, only for the kids sake. Anyway, each and every time i would pick them up, there he was standing right behind my ex at the front door. What a dumb ass. I got to the point where i just completely ignored him. He and others like him only seek to intimidate. It was almost like he would stand there and say "hey look what i got" well, he is a sick puppy, and you know you'll find it will get easier. Just look at him for the dumb ass he is.
