The Big Picture... kellekae: for each of us it is different isn't it? Why we left? Why we want to stay? What went wrong? Why we didn't see it? What could have changed it?
The big picture.
What I know. There is a reason for everything. For those of us who have hardships, and suffer with the loss, failure, of our marriages, I do believe we will be richly rewarded. Try to remember the big picture.
For those who it isn't easy still. Look around and see what went wrong. I know someone who told her spouse she thought he was being unfaith almost 2 yrs before she found out he was. She stuck with him. She told him bluntly that she saw it. She even knew who the other person was. She felt it inside. She confronted her too. They all denied it. Then...he tried to make her look like a nut for being honest about it. Of course it turns out it was true. Now she feels the truth depth of the pain. Her saviour. The truth. The truth shall set you free. Her truth is ...she knew in her heart, and she was right. He couldnt tell the truth, and to defend his poor actions, he tried to make her look bad. Is there any less of a human in the world than someone who does that? I tell her, pull from inside yourself and when you want him/etc...remember what he did.
We all have a big picture...what is yours?
Let's list them...
Mine is wanting more. Mine is not being abused. I remember broken ribs, and a jaw. That is the big picture. What is yours? It may be deeper, or more than mine, but list it ...here or in your mind, and remember it...then remember this...we all deserve faithfulness, honestly, true love, intimacy, and to be desired. You will have it...just dream, hope, and be open to it.
hugs, and love...me
Re:The Big Picture... CoryL: Great post. Way to have hope and an optimistic attitude!
My big picture.
Smile. Laugh. Awake each day thankful. Use that day to do some good. Listen when people talk. Share my experiences in hopes that it helps someone else. Exercise. Write. Work. Talk. Respond with, "Because I choose to be" when people ask, "given all you have been through, how can you have such a good attitude?" Remember the good times. Learn from my struggle.
All of this will make sure I am prepared for love when it strikes me again.
Re:The Big Picture... gumby55555: [quote author=kellekae link=board=1;threadid=8502;start=0#msg67334 date=1109825429">
fHe couldnt tell the truth, and to defend his poor actions, he tried to make her look bad. Is there any less of a human in the world than someone who does that? I tell her, pull from inside yourself and when you want him/etc...remember what he did.
[/quote">
That's so true, Kellekae... I think everyone who betrays someone, and is too emotionally and psychologically immature to face up to what they did, tries to hide it by lying and making the other person think they're nuts. It's part of the pathology and is easily the most vicious part of the whole cycle. I feel terrible for your friend... I can't believe he was that much of a lowlife as to keep stringing her along for two years! Some of these types might change but the vast majority of them remain the same lowlife forever... remembering that at the down moments will definitely help her! Great post!
Re:The Big Picture... :broken:: I'm not taken for granted, the person I dedicate my life to, besides myself, is there, building herself to be a strong woman. I'm not taken for granted, I'm not a dishwasher, a maid, I'm not furniture around the house. I'm not lonely. I'm not vulnerable. I'm not ignored.
Sometimes I wonder if all this was necessary. I was not beaten, I was not cheated on, yet I was not happy. He was a child to look after and that's what I ended up seeing him as. I was ignored even though I yelled out to him for help. I feared the future with him, an irresponsible child...enough dwelling on the past.
The big picture?
My daughter and I are finally happy. Moving on with hopes of the future. Excited.
Re:The Big Picture... timetobefree: My big picture? This is your one and only life. Not a dress rehearsal. You get one chance to live each day. You will never get another chance at yesterday. That was part of my wake-up call (besides the cheating)...I was not going to waste one more day trying to make him love me. I wasn't going to waste one more day of my precious life in that kind of situation. I don't know how else to explain it other than I finally woke up and realized THIS IS MY LIFE. I need to make it what I want it to be!
Thanks for a great post!
Amy ;)
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