Please take a look! pidjoman: Hi, and thanks... Briefly, My girlfriend and I were having a tough go of it and decided to call it off because of different circumstances. Me have had little communication other then her to tell me she needed some time to think. The silence is killing me so I am going to send her an email, regardless of wether I should or not. I want her to know that I realize I could have done things differently but I dont want to come across as desperate and needy, can you help me out...
"Hey, how are you doing? Hope your Okay.
I’m doing alright, I’m sad… but I’m keeping busy. Working around the house, and hammering out applications. I’m still keyed on the teaching so am applying for jobs that would be temp. between now and then but also if I see something that looks appealing and could lead into a career I am applying for that as well.
I’ve been thinking a lot and I alluded to this in the last letter I sent you but I realize now that I had become complacent… satisfied to wait for something (school) to happen, rather then going out and making things happen. Well, I can’t say satisfied, but maybe more confused about where I was... But I don’t want confusion to be mistaken for ambition…. I have ambitions… to get a career, a house, my independence back, and everything that comes with it. But I can understand how that complacency could be unappealing… I’ve been in the position before where I thought the person I was with was unambitious, lazy, and it was a source of contention. So, what I’m saying is…I think I understand, but… that is not me! I have ambitions and goals, I was just letting my confusion get the best of me.
Secondly, I want to maintain a dialogue between us… don’t be cynical; not because I can’t let go… but… I’m just not prepared to give up yet. It excites me to think about us, what we had and what we could have… I’m still the guy who can make you laugh and make your toe’s tingle and your still the girl who lights me up inside.
I don’t want to try and influence your thoughts… I realize you have to choose to resume communication on your own. If I somehow persuaded you, it would not be sincere.
But… I would like to have some communication; I would like to know how you feel; and I would like to hear from you… I miss you,
Re:Please take a look! AloneandCold: I have to say in my opinion I would take out the line "Don't be cynical" you want I language not you language. It might make her defensive, which I am assuming not a response you want. Good luck!
Re:Please take a look! Lumpy: Dear pidjoman,
I like that you're telling her what you are doing but I'm not so sure you need to explain why you are doing it. It kinda sounds like you're just telling her what she wants to hear. Actions ultimatly speak louder than words. Just do it and hopefully she'll react accordingly. I'm also kinda tenative about the explaination as to why you want to communicate. Seems kinda clinical. Maybe a simple "I miss talking to you" or "I'd like to hear from you" would be more effective. The act of sending the message alone lets her know that you want communication with her. I hope she responds in a positive manner and you get the reaction you're looking for. If she doesn't respond however I really feel that you need to back off a bit. Stay Sane.
Re:Please take a look! teacherwriterguy: Got to be honest - I don't think you are going to get the response you want from this. As genuine as you are trying to be, she's not going to hear it.
When a relationship starts to break down, if that break down is something that we don't want, it's natural to wish we could say something to make it better. However, if she's in a position where she really does need the space, then all this is going to do is break into that space. If she's made up her mind already, the letter isn't going to change it.
I hope it doesn't sound like I'm judging you - these thoughts come from having been in the same position. When I separated from my wife, I tried writing several times with the same thought - if I could just convince her that I'd change, or if I could just figure out the right reassuring words to fix the problem... but it doesn't work that way.
teacherwriterguy
Re:Please take a look! pidjoman: Thanks guys... not necessarily what I wanted to hear, ya know.... but good insite and the truth which I need to hear sometimes.
Sent it anyway with a few mods.... as someone told me before... maybe reaching like that won't get them back, but sometimes it's part of the healing process.
Right now, I still have those nagging doubts, and until I deal with them I will never get beyond.
Thanks guys,
Cheers
Pidjo
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