Re:how much space do i give irishman33: i believe that she tried to contact me......my phone at work does not have voicemail and i am frequently waying in meetings or fixing someones pc. she may have tried and i wasn't there.....as far as the email goes i'm really not sure what happened there. do you think she would tell me that to justify her not returning my call friday? she did contact me the next day twice as posted above, but i held strong and tried to honor her space. was that bad? we may give counseling a try again, but i would have to wait awhile.....she's not ready to discuss much right now....just the here and now. i am in counseling on my own and finding it very helpful, i have been giving some great pointers. i may bring up couples counseling in a month or two, she has told me that if we do get back together it's going to be awhile (due to the both of us signing 1 year leases) glad to hear that you may have found a good one.....i wish you the best as well.
Re:how much space do i give Sad Eyes: Irishman~
Listen to your heart....that is all you can do. Keep going to counseling for yourself and when the time is right you will know it when it comes to asking her if she would like to try marriage counseling. Take you time and give her time too. Just let her know that you are there and hopefully she will come back to you. This is what they mean throught thick and thin...hopefully you guys can tough it through this and meet up on the other side. I wish all the best for you! I can really tell how much you care for her. Hopefully someday she will see it too.
Hang in there and don't lose hope. :)
SE
Re:how much space do i give irishman33: hey there se.....
i will continue to go to counseling because i know that any improvement i make will benefit myself and my family. i hope your right about her noticing how much i care for her. like tonight, i offered to take my step daughters overnight and get them to school in the morning so that she could get some rest......she has been ill. i know that deep down this may not work, but i'm not a quitter and never have been. thanks for your words of encouragement.....i really enjoy writing you. take care and God bless
:) matthew
try my life,. sweetmalibu: okay. I was with Marc since march2001, we fiinally moved in together in sept 2004, after 1 year and a half of him completeing an at home jail sentence here in NJ for a drug offense, he turned his life around and I stuck by him while he had 9 pm curfews, reports to officers, couldnt leave state, etc,
But all was fine because we were both healing and fell in love, there was no drug use as he wanted to help me pursue my RN degree and he was able to still make good money as sales job. His life got better.
I did not want to move in asap because i figured people change after they are FREE again and thus I gave up my apt and moved in with him after many conversations. He was aware i was struggeling $$$ and that it would be easier for me. I still have emails of how he wanted things to be easier for me.. I loved him like noone else. I had two previous horid relatshps...
After moving in he started recreational pot smkn,,, and then few coke incidents which threw me into a crazee depresion and copdependant enabler state. We fought consatntly and he was acting like a teenager again, hanging with friends that were never ven around whne he was in trouble,, they all did drugs, well. he started to lie a bit and then I GOT CRAZEY. my dreams and hopes of my prince were a nightmare, ...
I left on christmas eve as we both agreed the fighting was not good and i couldnt seem to get my life together there. He meanwhile moved up to a great position and was doing great. I bit my lip and took my cats and went to motel, friends etc for a montha and a half, hoping absence makes the ..well ya know..
he never called me as i was actually staying in hotel lobbies, some nights, i lost my cat to cancer Jan 12 and had to do it all alone,, he didnt call.
Then after holidays i attempted to go back home and he said he wanted to have no relationship right now. Yet he was on coke and forced sex as i let him while i cried, needless to say i wound up in hospital because he ended us after he got what he wanted.. After counseling the police said that he sexually assaulted me and arrested him, and he is back at work on 10,000 bail. he claims im crazey and hired a lawyer as did I. the messed up part is I still love him and i am in my delusional head trying to fix this. I dont want to ruin him so i am dropping the charges as the breakup on his part is enough life time pain as i can possibly handle.
today is my birthday and i have not left my friends couch in 3 weeks, i cannot dress, talk or even drink water. I dont want to live, if i go out it reminds me of us.. all i care about is if he calls me on my birthday , I am really sick, i know this. he is going on with his life and i am taking the pain for both of us. I cannot go on. My mom wants to commit me where i can get help, but i thougtht time makes it better, i am crying as i write so please someone help me here in Nj in my corner of darkness, should i call him, or take zanax and go to bed. I useto have alife ,,a great one, and how can someone hurt me I ams o fragile and love so much.. I want to die but i cant find the energy to plan a d**n thing. all i haveis the crates of my clothes and my cats. he still has my bed, tv , and my security. How sick amI, whats gonna happen to me.
Re:how much space do i give Sad Eyes: Sweet Malibu~ Ooopss! I think you posted your story under Irishman33's thread. You want to post it under your own thread. It's confusing...but I am sure Irishman won't mind sharing. ;)
Irishman33~ I will always find ways to encourage somebody who is trying hard to save their marriage. It's not easy to fight and try to make it work. In all honesty it would be easier to throw our hands up and say "That's it!....Let's Sign the papers!!!" BUT you got to admire people who can tough it out and exhaust every effort and that is why when I see people here who are giving it their best shot...I have to encourage it and them. :)
I think that is great that you offered to take her stepdaughters...you didn't have too but you did. I hope she sees that. It will make it worth while. Keep trying and fighting as long as it feels right BUT don't let her take advantage of you either.
I am keeping my fingers crossed for you!
Good Luck!
SE
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