Re:Time ChristyM: I was married for 13 years so when he came at me with wanting to get a divorce, I was devastated but in order to combat the feelings of rejection, I started "going out" pretty quickly. The thing is, I'm not sure it would even be classified as "going out" ... I got together with an old friend from high school that I thought understood my situation, but when he tried to kiss me I was thoroughly disgusted. NO WAY was I ready or wanted that.
I really think my first date where I truly felt something other than "I'm going to toss my cookies any second" was around 1 month after the divorce was final (6 months after we were separated).
I think a definite distinction can be drawn between being ready to go out with someone physically and being ready to go out on a date emotionally. A couple times in the process my head told me I was ready to go out but when it happened I realized my heart wasn't on the same page yet.
Christy
Re:Time Shanna: Still married....another year or so before we divorce.
Seperated since August.
Been dating Frideon since Oct 9th.
So over one month from seperation till the day I met my SO.
Re:Time tara: [quote author=fivepointedstar link=board=6;threadid=8562;start=0#msg67809 date=1109912895">
I'm curious if the responses here are relative to the length of the marriage. This is the thing I'm having the hardest time with. I haven't even thought about being with anyone other than my STBX in over 10 years. My biggest barrier to dating is that when I imagine myself in a romantic relationship I imagine it with my STBX.
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I was married for more than six years, but with my STBX monogamously for 11.
However, more than half of our marriage was spent contemplating divorce, so long before we pulled the trigger, we'd both pretty much checked out of the marriage. We were still living together, still sleeping together -- but it was more like a roommates-with-benefits thing than a marriage.
Re:Time LostTeacher: i was with my stbxh for about 12 years. we were married for 2 1/2 years.
we've been seperated for almost 4 months. haven't really been on a "date" yet. i went to diner and the movies with a guy friend from work, but i don't think that he considered it a "date".
so i guess my answer would be, going on 4 months, and no date. that may also be because i have been holding onto a little hope, and not really ready myself yet anyway. i think right now i would be too emotional and clingy to start anyway.
plus, don't knowwhere i would go to look anyway.
Re:Time LettinGo: Together 6 yrs, married 4.5, separated 8 months next week ... not a single date yet. :-[
I have spent time with an ex-boyfriend (not STBXH), hanging out at home ... but no "new dates" and nothing with any potential.
Not because I am not ready, but because I am pretty much with my kids 99% of the time and the opportunity hasn't arrived just yet.
Kelly
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