Re:Moving on? NoEscape: Hi thinkin. Have you tried to go to marriage counseling?
If not you should...It was the first step towards me reconciling with my wife. Even if you feel you will get nothing out of it...just go. I had to drag my wife there and she was very reluctant but it does help.
Perhaps tell your wife to try counseling for 90 days..if things dont get better than you can divorce. She probably doesnt believe you will change...or that you have changed.
She needs to meet you a little bit on this...I know its hard but a good counselor will probably help both of you.
Re:Moving on? Cizzler: [quote author=Thinkin link=board=1;threadid=8565;start=0#msg67934 date=1109948011">
Well I feel like I'm on my own, I have no one to talk with about this as I'm was trying to hold it back from family and friends in hope we could work it out on our own but it's eating me up. This place has been a great help but the last few days I feel that I'm not really getting \much advise. I'm not saying that I haven't gotten some great help here but I feel the last few days and posts have gotten me no where.
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I can relate to wanting instant answers...but sometimes things can be pretty complicated. It sounds to me like maybe you're just testing her. Did you mention your thoughts of getting your own place to see if she was going to beg you to stay? Did you think that might have been like a wake up call for her? It sounds like you're both tired of having the same discussions over and over. If it's going to work out, both of you have to want it.
Re:Moving on? Thinkin: [quote"> If it's going to work out, both of you have to want it. [/quote">
Thats the thing, she say's she wants it but I don't feel or see her wanting it or even really trying.
LT: Thanks you have givin me some insight on this. I know I need to worry about myself but that is what brought all the problems, I'm the independant one. I was doing what she is doing to me know, I wanted the space I couldn't open up. That's why I find it so hard to give her the space. and that's why I feel like I need to help her and me at the same time. I let her down in the past by not really being there for her.
Re:Moving on? Thinkin: Also: Now everyone say's I need to give her space but won't doing what hurt our mairrage just make things worse now? I always ran away from my problems and I feel if I just back off and give her space that it will be just like before in me not wanting to open up to her. Does that make sense? Everyone is saying the space thing is best even she tells me that but that was her biggest beef with me is that I was always running around working and spent little time with her.
Re:Moving on? justme15: Just sit her down one more time and say I love you very much. I also need to let you know that we should talk about things but will not stop talking to you in general but will let you come to me. I want you to know I am here for you in all the ways you wanted me to be. And once again tell her you love her and care about what is going on between us. I hope that makes since and helps
pooh
