Re:If I ever say forever...... Again. JimB: I think it's REALLY important to have a list like this. Well, check that - I think everybody has a list like this, but few bother to write it down or even think much about it. IMO, it's important to re-vamp this list regularly. Mine changed rapidly and repeatedly in the months following my divorce - it's now settled in to nine basic requirements, listed in order of importance. (I'll spare you guys the boredom of reading them - suffice to say they're all pretty basic and non-specific.)
Anyway, it's good to see you're thinking about this, Bug, and I hope you inspire others to do so also.
Re:If I ever say forever...... Again. paul76: [deleted by request of the poster">
Re:If I ever say forever...... Again. gumby55555: [quote author=JimB link=board=6;threadid=8589;start=0#msg68182 date=1109982128">
I'll spare you guys the boredom of reading them - suffice to say they're all pretty basic and non-specific.
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Hey Jim, you should post it... I, for one, would be interested in seeing it, just in case there's something I can add to mine from it (yeah, I'm a selfish bastard like that! :) )...
Re:If I ever say forever...... Again. Little Lonely: I've been giving this a lot of thought lately and have comprised a list...(it's not just what i want from a guy, but from the relationship)
* a life full of love....given and received. i want to feel it and i want to feel that it's felt.
* much outward and open affection...kiss me, hug me, hold me, hold my hand, gentle touches to show you care, play with my hair, wipe my tears, rub my back, kiss my ears, let me sleep with my head in your lap, slap my @ss, tickle me, tackle me, make me laugh, tell me i'm beautiful.
* be open and honest...tell me what you're thinking. i want to know EVERYTHING! i want to know how your mind thinks and works. tell me your fears, your dreams, your likes and dislikes. tell me what you expect in our relationship. tell me when and if i'm off track. i can't be with someone who can't communicate...this is #1 priority.
* don't lie about anything, even little things. if you ruined my favorite pair of pants in the wash...fess up, don't blame the dog.
* passion...not just in a sexual wy, but in every way. be passionate about 'us'. always want it to be the very best. always do everything in your power to keep it that way. i will do the same. i want to be the world to you and you will be mine.
* perserverance...life can be cruel. when it presents a challenge, rise to the occassion, don't back down. we should always look to each other for comfort first. lean on me and i will lean on you.
* independence...allow me mine. let me have my friends and my space. respect it, love it. i will do the same.
* trust...i will prove to you that i deserve your's. you must prove to me that you deserve mine.
* respect...call me if you'll be late, leave a note. understand that i worry and that won't change.
* promises...make them and keep them.
* embrace change...life is complex and the course of life develops a person's character. i don't believe anyone is completely static. grow with me, develop with me, embrace who i am.
* goals...have some, please. work with me to reach mine. support me, help me, guide me. i will be your pillar.
* want to share every aspect of your life with me...past, present, and future. walk through life with me, hand in hand.
* family...has to be of utmost importance...your parents, siblings, wife, kids...all of them.
*appreciate me, dream with me, travel with me, have babies with me, laugh with me, cry with me, grow old with me and cherish every minute of it. think you couldn't imagine your life any other way.
*be intimate with me on a level that seems incomprehensible. i want to feel your happiness, your sadness. i want to know what you are about to say without you saying it. i want to look into your eyes and feel your soul.
* don't ever forget the little things...do them! they make all the difference in the world....kiss me hello, kiss me goodnight, put love notes in my lunch box.
i guess that's enough for now.
Re:If I ever say forever...... Again. JimB: :-[
Erm - well - they seem to be tucked away in a file which didn't make the transition from old, outdated computer to new, fast computer. So I'll be happy to post them at a future date, after I've retrieved the file. (You'd think I'd have them memorized....)
I do remember that there are 9 of them, and I can tell you what item #1 is: appreciation. I need to be with someone who appreciates me for what I truly am, not just what I may appear to be at a given moment or what she might want me to be.
Let me see if I can rattle of a couple more:
- Maturity. My definition of maturity is a bit complex, but I know it when I see it. Actually, it's primarily comprised of some of the other things listed here.
- Serenity. If you haven't figured out yet that there's very little in the world worth getting all wound up about, I'm not going to be very interested in spending a significant amount of time with you.
- Confidence. Similarly, if you rely on me or others to tell you why you're so great, you'll probably find me losing interest. If you're great, I'll tell you so, but because I want to, not because you need to hear it.
- The ability to live in the moment. You and I are here together right now: we can't do a fricken thing about yesterday or tomorrow. So let's enjoy what we have.
- Honesty and respect are so basic to me anymore that I hardly even think about them. But mature people are pretty much always honest and respectful.
- Wisdom and patience are two other attributes I really appreciate in another person (particularly one I'm involved with), but I've found that any woman who has all the other things I've mentioned usually has wisdom and patience in spades.
These are most of the NEEDS. I have wants, as well, but the wants are quite a bit more subject to change than the needs are.
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