Do they really know auminer: What they had till its gone. She knows she can have me back in heartbeat ..how pathetic.. Iam..Well I guess I love her and my family dearly.. Thats not a crime.. Do people ever realize what they had till its gone..The ones that leave when there was no abuse, cheating...and kids involved.. They say those feelings have died.. Anyone else going through this or have gone through it..She comes from a family where her parents broke upo when she was 16 yrs old..
Re:Do they really know depressedindallas: People change, and that change doesn't always come easy for the ones around them. All you can do is be there for your kids, and support your ex or stbx. If she wants out than that is what she wants, you will only muck up the works if you try to stop it. Take the love that you have (had) for each other and give it to your kids. They need you more than ever right now. Work with your ex and make sure that you can amicably raise your kids. At least our situations provide for that, there wasn't anything evil and we don't hate the ones we used to love. It will be alright.
Re:Do they really know teacherwriterguy: I think that, after a couple has finally separated and they've "left", that both parties go through phases of realization.
I was the one who hung on and who wanted to work it out, but I know that, after my stbx left, realizations about how hard it had really been, how much I'd really given up being in the marriage, how much I'd settled and sacrificed - all of those hit.
So, I'd bet the reverse is true. When we leave, we look back and review the marriage in a whole new light from a whole new distance. It's amazing what perspective will show you.
twg
Re:Do they really know soTiredOfHurting: TWG- It is truly amazing what you can come to realize. Each one of our experiences is different. I remember telling my STBXW one day that 'Now that I know what life is like with you, I don't ever want to know what life is like without you.' I meant it at the time, now however having to face just that; I am realizing that life is not that bad and that in light of everything that has happened and continues to happen I am better off for her leaving. What we had was an illusion on her part, I don't think it would have ever really lasted. She doesn't have it in her to go the distance.
Will my STBXW ever realize what she gave up and walked away from? I do not truly know. I however am certain that I did everything I could and then some to try and make things work and show my dedication, I have peace about that. In time it may dawn on her, however I am no longer concerned if it does. I am responsible for my life and she hers. My life is going forward.
Re:Do they really know riversandlakes: [quote author=soTiredOfHurting link=board=1;threadid=9031;start=0#msg71372 date=1111073917">
Will my STBXW ever realize what she gave up and walked away from? I do not truly know. In time it may dawn on her, however I am no longer concerned if it does. I am responsible for my life and she hers. My life is going forward.
[/quote">
That is healed, instead of "going" forward. For you can already differentiate "no longer concerned if it does" :P
I want to get there - fast :-\ :'(
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