Re:Do they really know LostTeacher: i think that sometimes the fear keeps them away from the realization. the fact that maybe they do realize that they lost the best thing, and now they think it's too late. i think that may be partly true for me. one of the things he said a lot is that it is "too late" to do anything about it. that there was nothing left to say to change it. that was the difference between us.
i too am in the boat that if my stbxh said that he wanted to try to work on it, i would do it in a heartbeat. a lot of people would call me crazy, would thing it was not the right thing to do. but i loved him, and would want to work on it.
but like twg said, i look back, and see that things weren't perfect, and i was willing to settle for a lot less, be treated a little less nicely, and i didn't have a problem with it. stepping back from the relationship really changes your perspective, and lets you see some of the truth of the matter. it hits hard and it hurts, but sometimes the truth needs to hurt.
Re:Do they really know justme15: Know it is hard to limit the contact. My H is and was my best friend but they have to realize that you are theirs. Till that happens nothing you do will be good enough. I just hope you can follow your heart and do what you feel is best for you. I have children also and they so know that is hard to do what needs to be done. You just have to be honest with her and the kids and see what can be done. You are also right it is easier for her because of the of other man. Talk to har and figure out together what can be done.
Sorry I can't be much help but I can hope that I have been
"hugs" pooh
Re:Do they really know auminer: yes whyb hsould I settle for someone who doesnt know what they want. had it good but wasnt able to commit.. I guess for the kids sake.. I guess most of the time its wondering if there is someone else out there and the loneliness I feel right now.. She says she feels horrible, guilty and sad.. She has even said she misses me sometimes. Perhaps likeIve tried to state before (but not feekling that way today) is that sometimes you have to let things run their course and if its meant to be its meant to be.. She has said And I firmly belive this is what goes through her mind.. "I need to find out if I can make it on my own, If im truly happy without you in my life".. Geesh somepeople find out the hrd way I guess.. Thxs for your support today .. everyone
Re:Do they really know riversandlakes: [quote author=auminer link=board=1;threadid=9031;start=0#msg71415 date=1111079515">
She says she feels horrible, guilty and sad.. She has even said she misses me sometimes. "I need to find out if I can make it on my own, If im truly happy without you in my life"..
[/quote">
Don't analyze too much into that, buddy. You'll find that it doesn't help. Focus on the other things - work, exercise, hobbies - to keep that sanity...
Though why she *needs* to find an answer to that question begs a question. If both are separately happy and complete, why become a couple?
Re:Do they really know willow78: I also would take my stbx back in a second, and he knows that, he knows I still love him and that him living with her hurts me terribly. But all I get from him is" I can't make things right." " I have to live with what iv'e done." or, " You don't know what I think or feel."or, " If I could do it over I would do some things differently." He makes me feel like he has regrets and realizes his mistake. But even so, he still goes home to HER every night. I have to see him every day, and let me tell you that is so hard!! I also see her every day when I leave work, because we all work at the same place!!!! I guess you can go back to the old adage, " Actions speak louder than words." I still hold onto hope anyway because I still feel very close to him, like we still have a connection, I guess any thing can happen right? Most likely not though, even though statistics show that only 3% of extramarital affairs stay constant. What do we do????????? :-\
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