Help me keep my sanity AloneandCold: Due to financial issues I had to let the ex move in as a roommate for the next two years so that I can continue going to school.
The problem is this. HE DRIVES ME CRAZY. I mean totally nuts, I come home from school and within fifteen minutes I am so tense I feel like twitching. This man does so many things that completely get on my nerves I want to scream.
1. No matter what the kids ask him he says no, whether its can we go outside and play, can you read us a book, anything, I don't think he even listens to the question, he just says NO.
2. His lazy ass sits on the couch from the minute he gets home, until he goes to bed, just sits there, scratching himself periodically.
3. We made a "deal" that on the days that are suppose to be "his days" with the kids he is suppose to do the cleaning and cooking, and I would on my days. Yeah ok well he will cook dinner and dinner only, IF I bug him, and he will then only cook something that takes less then 5 minutes.
4. He leaves everything everywhere. My daughter left a book that she was reading on the couch and instead of asking her to put it away, First he throws it on the floor, then when I asked him to please not put it on the floor he goes off on a tirade that it is there because the children do not know how to put things away, DUH I wonder who they learned that from.
5. He lies about everything, I mean dang, what the heck is he lying for, I am beyond caring what he is doing, why can't he just say it?
6. He has to pry into my business; I mean come on give me a little privacy!
7. His car is permanently broken because he drove it in the red all the way to work, then he comes back to my house and just assumes he will now be using my car.
8. He is using all my gas and spring break is coming up, instead of taking my kids places I am going to be stuck at home with no gas to get anywhere.
9. By 7 at night when I am trying to do my homework he starts snoring LOUDLY on the couch. I mean come on nothing is more seriously distracting then nasal snoring.
10. The man keeps trying to rub my shoulders as an excuse to try to cop a feel, so then he mad when I tell him to knock it off because "he is only trying to be nice" Whatever!
11. I am in the middle of studying and he keeps trying to talk to me, every 2 minutes, he just has to tell me the latest sports news, or just random stupid stuff, This after he yelled at the kids to be quiet so I can study
12. I am really sick of being quiet when his "friend" calls every night. First of all he lies straight out, she doesn't know he moved in, and he tries to pretend I am not even there.
ARRRG there are various other things and none of them are huge I guess, just all together they drive me nuts. I cannot change anything he is doing, I learned that years ago, so my question is anyone have any ideas on how to keep my sanity? Meditation? LoL
Bug
Re:Help me keep my sanity timetobefree: [quote author=Becominganewme link=board=1;threadid=9037;start=0#msg71398 date=1111077474">
2. His lazy ass sits on the couch from the minute he gets home, until he goes to bed, just sits there, scratching himself periodically.
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Hey Bug, First, thanks for this...made me laugh OUT LOUD. The mental picture is just tooooo much!
Now, on a more serious note, can you drug him so he sleeps through the evenings with you? Oh wait, that would probably involve more snoring, which is a problem already. ;D
OK, for real, on a serious note, I feel for you. I really do. I lived with my ex for two months after I found out he was cheating on me...until I closed on my new house. Those were two long months, so two years...wow, you are a brave woman. What were the agreements when he moved in? Anything in writing? Perhaps getting some of the "house rules" down in writing would help. Although if he is anything like my ex, that won't matter. I wish I had some better advice on how to maintain your sanity...but I don't. Hang in there, vent here, and drink regularly! ;D
Take care,
Amy ;D
Re:Help me keep my sanity slowlearner: [quote author=Becominganewme link=board=1;threadid=9037;start=0#msg71398 date=1111077474">
The problem is this. HE DRIVES ME CRAZY. I mean totally nuts, I come home from school and within fifteen minutes I am so tense I feel like twitching. This man does so many things that completely get on my nerves I want to scream.
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Two Years??? Can you find another room mate?
I'd suggest you set strong boundaries and make him stick to them, but reading your description of him, he won't co-operate. Sorry, but the only way i can see for you to stay sane is to kick him out.
Re:Help me keep my sanity AloneandCold: LoL Amy I aim to please ;D
Hmm... Drug him so he will sleep? ......... If a sound is obnoxious enough and goes on for long enough can you lose your mind? Maybe I should try it as an experiment. ;)
The agreements were he was responsible for the house and the kids on his days, and he was not allowed in my bedroom, period. Other then that he pays half the bills, that is as far as we got, he wasn't supposed to move in until the 31st but somehow he just figured he could now. Funny he is going to visit the OW over spring break and I could not be happier since I will have my house for a week. LoL. We didn't get any further on rules then that. But yes like your ex it wouldn't have mattered anyway he really isn't one to respect anything like that. I swear he is five; maybe I should get a baseball bat as a spanking stick for when he isn't good. ;D ;) ::)
Slow learner,
Trust me if another roommate was an option I would. There are a couple reasons I cannot do that, to start with I am in a lease at a two bedroom, me in one room and my two girls in the other. The ex sleeps in the living room; I do not think I would find another person that would want to live in the living room. Another thing is even if I could get out of the lease and move into a three bedroom, I cannot afford my little two bedroom, there is no way I could hold a three bedroom while I tried to get a roommate, that and what if they moved out? I would really be in trouble.
Bug
Re:Help me keep my sanity Shanna: Help you keep your sanity....it is already gone....I lose mine totally when stbxh is here for one weekend....can't imagine him moving in....JUST SHOOT ME.
Maybe a chore list would help.... ??? ???
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