Just can't do it alone. willow78: :-[ :'(I have been out of HIS house since January and I finally relized I can't do it by myself any more. I have tried, and sometimes I feel like maybe I will be ok, and then, down I go again! So I have booked an appointment with a counselor. I really don't know what I am looking for, I know every one says we will not find the answers we need, but I can't go on like this any more!! I don't understand any thing and I find all the blame in myself! All I do is think about how good looking and sweet and loving he is, and then know that he is all that with HER!!!!! Not being able to have a second chance with him is killing me. I need someone to help me figure all this out! Is counseling going to help me? Will I be better for it? I don't sleep, I can't concentrate, I cry at the drop of a hat, even when I just mention his name. I am not ashamed to say that I love this man, why is he not loving me back? Am I so horrible of a person? I need to make sense out of all this. But there is no sense!!!! I am going insane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Re:Just can't do it alone. riversandlakes: [quote author=willow78 link=board=1;threadid=9045;start=0#msg71558 date=1111099771">
:-[ :'(I have been out of HIS house since January and I finally relized I can't do it by myself any more. I have tried, and sometimes I feel like maybe I will be ok, and then, down I go again! So I have booked an appointment with a counselor. I really don't know what I am looking for, I know every one says we will not find the answers we need, but I can't go on like this any more!! I don't understand any thing and I find all the blame in myself! All I do is think about how good looking and sweet and loving he is, and then know that he is all that with HER!!!!! Not being able to have a second chance with him is killing me. I need someone to help me figure all this out! Is counseling going to help me? Will I be better for it? I don't sleep, I can't concentrate, I cry at the drop of a hat, even when I just mention his name. I am not ashamed to say that I love this man, why is he not loving me back? Am I so horrible of a person? I need to make sense out of all this. But there is no sense!!!! I am going insane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Counselling is a way. Go for it. It has helped many on this board...
Insomnia, shattered focus are normal effects. Don't worry. I am in the office alone working my a$$ off at 2300 GMT because of insomnica, and to put in 3x workaholism (was 1x) and to avoid Irish TV :P
You are not any lesser a person without his love. He was the lesser person for not recognizing what he is letting go. Remember, this too shall pass. Just the key is hang in there.
Hang in there, dear. Going insane won't help anyone, least of all yourself :-\ :'( Family and friends need you.
It is normal to hurt at the mention of his/her name or even seeing her things.
Her name was Grace. Such a beautiful name tortured me near insane. What was I to do when people started singing "Amazing Grace"? Or just write "an ungraceful exit"? Those little things stab me like nothing I've encountered before :-\ :'(
She died. Much to my extreme grief, I must live on. I have new and old goals to achieve, though the purpose to achieve them has become null and void ;(((
Re:Just can't do it alone. Lonelyi in PA: I am seeing a counselor. My stbx saw one with me but the first one wasn't very good. There was a lot of dead air, not much talking and she seemed like she was struggling to find questions to ask. My current one is very easy to talk to and he asks leading questions and gives his thoughts on my answers. He says I dont have to take his advice as he is only human.
I think my visits are helpful. The counselor is encouraging me to set goals and we're going to work on finding out who I am..a person changes over the years and I am not the same person I was pre relationship.
If your first visit isn't satisfying I suggest finding a different counselor. A friend of mine who divorced said she went through 3 before she finally found a counselor she liked. They might not tell you what you want to hear. (Like your ex or stbx has moved on) but the good ones will help you see things you might have missed and help point you in a positive direction.
