Sounds like the time has come? Dunno: Wasn't here yesterday, actually thought of all of you, and wished none of this was really going on, for any of us. Anyways, missed you all and had you on my mind. I am at a loss here kinda, I mean I have to reach a new "level" of being me it seems. He has run into a few occurences, whatever you want to call them. Anyways it has been brought to my attention that he intends to take his name off any and all properties he may have. His intention or so I am told, is to keep his assets safe, as a fellow supposedly was hurt on the job the other day and is threatening to take him for all he can, my interpretation is so that he can not be made to pay alimony. I hate to think things have come to this, but I have no other answer. Four weeks tomorrow, no concern, no interest shown me at all. It's been almost one week since verbal contact of any nature, and then was to tell me to leave her alone. (he told me) As much as I hate to think the man I have loved and shared my life with all these years has no intention of caring about what happens to me, I think I have to take a stand, see a lawyer. I don't know if any of you understand this, but I WON'T divorce him! I refuse to enable his freedom to remarry. If I want to make it financially though, I have to do this. Help I am praying for. Courage I need......
Re:Sounds like the time has come? lemondrop: "but I WON'T divorce him!"
~ I had this same thought... I thought "why should I make it easier on him to leave me?"... but eventually I got to a point where I was afraid to be married to him any more... I started thinking things like "what happens if he decides to buy tons of expensive jewelry for his OW using our credit?" and "what happens if he's in a disabling accident and I'm stuck with his medical bills?" and "what happens if he skips town and I have to hire someone to find him in order to get divorced?"...
Initially, I never wanted a divorce either, and I couldn't see any advantage to me giving him one until I realized it wouldn't do me any good to stay legally tied to someone who didn't care about me any more...
Don't know if that helps...
LD
Re:Sounds like the time has come? snowyheart: Hi Dunno,
Divorce is sickening huh? I can't thing of anything more evil than divorce. Dunno, just try to feel in your heart what is the right thing to do.
For me, I also had many opportunities during my divorce to be vindictive and make this whole process hell for my ex. But I won't be that kind of person. I can and will do the right thing. I never agreed to a divorce it happened without me. But I did always try my damnest to do the right thing which meant the hard thing. Swallowing my urge to screw my ex at every turn meant some serious effort and encouragement from my mom, who knows the kind of person I am.
If my ex wants out, fine go, just don't expect to turn me into the same peice of slime you are.
You'll be ok, you sound like a good person to me. Hang in there. :)
Re:Sounds like the time has come? Dunno: You both make perfect sense, really. I so do not WANT to be a vindictive person, but to turn the other cheek? Make it easier for them to become Mr and Mrs? Just doesn't strike me as a thing I can do. I will keep in mind though the type person he has become, perhaps with this in mind I can change my views in time. Thanks ya huggz
