Re:sexless marriage?? loshyra: EB ~
I just wanted to tell you that I know how you feel. My ex told me that he loved me and was attracted to me and then nothing. It sucks. But don't think of it as WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME....think of it as a mutual problem with both of you. It is obviously not just a one sided thing....otherwise, why would we need the opposite sex?
The real question that I think you should ask you self is would your marriage be better if you were having sex nightly? If you answer no to this question then yeah you need to start to try and decide for yourself if you should really still be married to this person, with or without kids. I know a woman that stayed in her marriage for 30+ years because of her kids, even though her ex was abusive. And now she looks back and regrets that. And her children are starting to take after her. one is in an abusive marriage and won't get a divorce because of their son.
Anyway that is my two cents on this...
- Loshyra
Re:sexless marriage?? confusedinca: twg - what you said makes a lot of sense, thank you. Since my husband is the master procrastinator & avoider, that's probably the case.
Lisa - what you said about you not being the right girl for him, I've thought that so many times myself. Also about how the OM made you feel, ditto, ditto, ditto!
We are going to counseling right now and I feel like it's a big waste of time. Whenever I've talked to him about the problems he sits there and agrees with me and says things need to be different, but then the next day it's like the conversation never happened. I have a feeling the counseling will have the same results. But I'm willing to try it.
Re:sexless marriage?? ebkawai: Yep! My hubby agrees with me too, and knows it's a problem that we need to solve, but we never seem to find the solution.
I know that having sex every night is not an answer. But during the times we did have regular sex (maybe 3 times a week), we were much closer emotionally. That's what I want. He's a wonderful guy (after his "ah-ha" experience of two years ago). We get along great. But I need intimacy.
GAHHH!!! I need to feel loved and desired. Confusedinca, how was it after your affair? Was OM at least a decent guy? Did you ever think to leave your marriage for him? My OM turned out to be an a$$hole. I told hubby everything and OM left me less than a week later. I never really knew what a broken heart was until that moment.
Re:sexless marriage?? kissingkim: I was in this situation, and it can tear you apart. Just know that you are not alone, that there are others who understand what you are going through. I had come to accept that my life would be without physical contact, and if that had been the only issue, or even a major one, I probably would still be married. We had many other issues though, so we will never know. If you ever want to talk about it, please feel free to PM me, it helps to know you have support.
Kim
Re:sexless marriage?? confusedinca:
Lisa, I'm going to PM you on that last question.
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