Feeling degrated but still cant get out! dreamjewel2000: I met Billy about 4 years ago. We were only together 4 months when I found out he had cheated on me with his ex. I found out by her tracking me down and telling me, I had no idea who she was but she had seen us together. So 2 more months go by and I had a feeling it happened again bc he was at a party one night and called me to tell me she was there but I had nothing to worry about, but then he didnt come to my house until 4am, and all he wanted was oral sex. I got pregnant about 3 months after that with our daughter. Everything was great through the whole pregnancy then when she was 8 months old after almost 2 years of questioning he told me that the night I had suspected he did sleep with her, and to top it off I gave him oral sex that night after he slept with her. I was soo pissed and hurt but I decided to give him a chance bc i thought he had changed when we had our daughter. In sept. we had been argueing a lot, and i had been suspicous of this girl in the police academy with him. whenever we went out he would suggest that we go to the bar she works at, so I would, and I got to know her a little, but I still felt that there was something there. We decided to separate and seek counseling. we separated on fri., one week went by and things were okay. now come the next fri. i was at the bar she works at with some friends and i was talking to an old male friend i had known for a few years. i got a voicemale from Billy(my fiance) calling me slut, etc. bc i was talking to him. i knew who had called him bc Michelle(the girl in the academy with him) had come over to say hi to me and she was the only person there that knew billy. i immediatly approached her and asked if she had called him and she said yeah, and by the way we are fucking and we have been fucking. first thing that i did was punch her a few times( i was drunk and this is not my normal behavior). next thing i knew bouncers were pulling me off her. my friends drove me home, now this is about 2:30am and i was trying to call him on his cell and she was answering so he must have run right up there after it all happened to be with her. and then he went with her to the police and she pressed charges against me. that morning b4 i had even known they went to the police i was extremely upset and i went to his house where he made me give him oral sex, and then told me that if i loved him i would let him have anal sex with me, which i did NOT. then i found out that wedn he had slept with her, after calling me a slut for talking to a friend, and he already screwed someone. now its march and after my gut was telling me there was more he finally tells me that the night of the fight before he came home he slept with her again. so in one night he helps this girl press charges against me, sleeps with her, comes home and then makes me give him oral sex. So now 2 times he has had sex with girls and had me give mih oral sex after. so i decided to break up with him, and he cried, so i took him back plus i know he does love our daughter more than anything. i went and got checked for STDs bc he never used a condom with either of these girls, thankfully everything came back okay. i know that i am pretty and smart. I will be done with nursing school in a year, but i dont understand why i keep him around. i just dont get it. Needed to vent.
Re:Feeling degrated but still cant get out! riversandlakes:
My 2 cents:
For yours and your daughters sakes, please see him for what he is. Step out of the glasshouse and look back in.
jewel, you deserve better. Time and again chances you ahve given, but he actually doesn't care for any. See how he helped the other to press charges against you? Not to mention sleeping around. Can you still trust him to take care of the daughter and you?
You should take the venting to the next level and beyond. Act on it, if not to save your daughter from this man?
Re:Feeling degrated but still cant get out! AloneandCold: You need to walk away, or better yet run away from this man. Reread your own story and pay attention to it. He not only slept around BUT he had you give him oral. This type of behavior is slightly psychotic and if nothing else VERY degrading to you. From your words I can promise you that he does not care about you. You have to take his action not his words as the real truth. When you say he forced you to give oral, do you mean forced? As in physically forced? If you are keeping him around against your better judgment get therapy and have them help you become strong enough to stand up and say NO, you need to leave. It takes an incredible amount of strength to push away from a relationship, even one that is abusive. If you think yours is not think again. Even if it is not physically it is mentally. He has no remorse for his behavior and he stood behind this woman to press charges against you. If he does care for you there is something very wrong with him and you need to get yourself away from the situation. What is even more important is you need to ask yourself if you want your daughter growing up seeing him treat you like this. If you allow that to happen your daughter will have very serious issues with relationships and will have a very good chance of ending up in multiple abusive ones because she will see that as the natural way from a man to be able to behave to a woman. PLEASE if not for yourself do it for your daughter. If you cannot find someone to lean on, someone who can lend you moral support. You need to build yourself up anyway you can to help yourself leave this man for good.
Christina
