Re: Idealism down2basics:
Steps to temper idealism
Step 1: In your journal answer the following questions in order to assist you to work on tempering your idealism so that it is less of a control issue for you.
A. How do you display idealism in your behaviors and actions in life?
B. What are the negative effects of over-idealism in your life?
C. How do you use your idealism as a control mechanism in your life?
D. How do you feel about idealism being singled out as a control issue in your life? How valid is this concept for you?
E. How do you feel about the idealism of other people in your life? Do you feel they use their idealism as a control issue?
F. How does their idealism and your idealism clash or conflict? What types of problems does this cause for you?
G. What irrational beliefs or unhealthy thinking leads to or results from your over-idealism?
H. For how long has over-idealism been a problem for you? When was your idealism greater? Lesser? More of a problem? Less of a problem?
I. How have you dealt with your problems arising from over-idealism?
J. How do you feel about ``shoulding'' yourself or others to be, to act, to think, and to feel in ideal ways?
K. How badly are you suffering in your life from the negative consequences of your idealism and how badly do you want to change this?
L. How willing are you to "play the political'' games in life in order to survive?
Step 2: Once you have done an assessment of the impact of over-idealism in your life, then answer the following questions for each of your life spheres. Take each of the following life spheres one at a time and complete all of the questions in your journal before you go on to answer the same questions for the next life sphere.
Hey - l@@k - you're almost done!!! Keeep gooooing!
;)
Re: Idealism down2basics: The Life Spheres Impacted by Idealism
Marriage or relationships with significant others
Home life
Parenting or child management
School
Work
Community involvement
Church
Recovery
Friendships
A. What are the ideals in this life sphere which create problems for you?
B. How do you try to control other people in this life sphere by your idealism?
C. What are the negative results of your controlling through over-idealism?
D. What irrational beliefs or perfectionistic tendencies are at the root of your problematic ideals in this life sphere?
E. What healthier, more rational, and more realistic alternative beliefs in this life sphere would temper your problematic ideals?
F. What angers you in this life sphere about letting go of your overly idealistic ideals?
G. What new feelings do you need to experience in this life sphere in order to let go of the old ideals and accept the new, healthier, more realistic and more rational ideals or beliefs?
H. What new behaviors do you need to develop in this life sphere as a result of tempering your idealistic thoughts and emotions?
I. What "political games'' do you need to play in order to survive in this life sphere once you have tempered your idealism?
J. How likely are you to successfully survive and be healthy and happy as a result of your new, "less idealistic'' oriented behaviors and playing the ``political games'' in this life sphere?
K. What alternatives do you have if, by being less idealistic and more political in your actions, your life, security, happiness, and success are still threatened and/or at risk?
L. How willing are you to let go physically of your active involvement with people, places, or things which threaten your survival in this life sphere?
M. How willing are you to admit the need to "quit'' a person, place, or thing in this life sphere when to stay would result in hurt, pain, and suffering for you?
Step 3: Once you have analyzed each of your life spheres for new, more tempered thinking, feeling, and actions, then you need to implement the new, tempered ideals, less controlling, more realistic, more rational beliefs, and healthier behaviors in each life sphere.
Step 4: Monitor the impact these new behaviors have on the people in each life sphere.
Step 5: Reinforce your efforts at tempering your idealism.
Step 6: Keep implementing more politically sound behaviors in each life sphere.
Step 7: Walk away or quit any people, places, or things in your life spheres who continue to be a threat to your survival or existence even after you have tempered your idealism.
Step 8: If you fall back into allowing your idealism to control you or others, then return to Step 1 and begin all over again keeping in mind that:
One more page and we're FINISHED!!! Yeah baby!
Re: Idealism down2basics: Life is
a little sunshine, a little rain
a little loss, a little gain
a little happiness, a little pain
not all sweet, nor all sour
now a weed, now a flower but
a goodly average of sunshine and shower.
God Bless you - Peace be with you always!!!
From my heart!
Leaving the light on - d2b
Re: Idealism achingallover: THIS IS EXCELLENT!!! Is there any way you would be willing to e-mail this to me in in word format? I copied it into word, but of course all the dark background comes alone with it - yikes for the printer! My e-mail is listed here.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING THIS!!!! I intend to journal all of these things!
THANK YOU THANK YOU!!
Steph
Re: Idealism down2basics: Hey Achy....
IM me your email address - I have the articles copied to word for you!
Hugs!!!
-td
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