been a while...and hope Jassy: Well, I used to be on here as Jasmine23s....and it's been a looooong time. And the sad thing? I'm STILL not divorced!!! LMAO! But I'll get to that.
The short story...I married an abusive jerk, left him, changed my mind and by then he'd found someone else. And he dropped the D-I-V-O-R-C-E bomb. I was a wreck. I felt like I didn't have the strength to even get out of bed, I couldn't possibly have shed anymore tears and most of all, I felt worthless and unwanted. By no means has this been a stroll in the garden.
Now fast forward. I have found I am stronger than I believed. I am worthwhile. Those of you going through where I've been...as much as it may not seem it now...you WILL get through this. The sun will shine again. And it will make you stronger. But I understand...I didn't believe it even a year ago!
The ex and I get along great now. He and his fiance have a beautiful baby boy, and his oldest son and I are working on a relationship. I didn't get to know him when we were together, and it was his choice to be a part of my life. But, we still aren't divorced. It's getting to be a joke with us. I can't afford the divorce. So, I went and filed the fee waiver. I got it for $10. My bf paid it, he was served, and failed to file an appearance with the court. So I just got a letter the other day saying the case was dismissed. Lovely! This is the 2nd time he's pulled this! But, I'm in no rush to get remarried, so I told him he gets to pay this time. lol! Maybe 3rd time's the charm?
Since we split, he's stopped drinking and using drugs. He is a much better person now, and I couldn't be happier for him and his new family. They come over here for supper, we go there...it's great. I think I am very fortunate that it worked out the way it has. He is there for me now more than he was when we were together. And he has become very protective of both me and my son. More than once I've called him and just cried on his shoulder. I hated his gf at first, but her and I are the best of friends now.
It does get better...it really does. You just need to live life one day at a time. Look in a mirror and tell yourself you're worth it. Write. Scream. Do whatever it takes. Every one of you are worth more than you know.
Well, guess that's about it. Best of luck to all of you!!
Re:been a while...and hope riversandlakes:
Wow, no kidding? How long from the bomb till today with a healed you?
Re:been a while...and hope Jassy: It's been 3 years now since we split up. But I started to really feel like me after about 1 1/2. I know it seems like forever, but in the grand scheme of things, it's really not that long. It's a painful process, and it always seems like nothing is moving forward, but in retrospect, it was.
