Re: X'S FOR FRIENDS? INCT: We tried it for about a minute, then I freaked out. It hit me my wife was leaving. not to meniton I then found out other things about her .. anyway,
later, after all the emotion settled down I thought being friends with her would actually benefit me, I mean we went through the same thing, together infact, it may help me to hear her side finally, or how she saw things..so I was on a friend kick,
ya know what? if we really were friends, we would still be married, It was a way for me to still try to hang on to a marraige that was gone long gone.
anyway for me, I think that being friends would be great, but just not possible.
INCT
Re: X'S FOR FRIENDS? barelybreathing: [quote">
ya know what? if we really were friends, we would still be married, It was a way for me to still try to hang on to a marraige that was gone long gone.
[/quote">
Yes, precisely. What is the point of the friendship. Then I take it one step further, why do we have to never, ever talk to a person we lived with for so many years? Its too weird, really. It seems so permanent. Isn't that the point of divorce? Permanency of ending the relationship called a marriage? Yup. Cease and desist. I really think that you have to just stop all contact. Its too weird.
I just don't like any of it, I tell ya...
Re: X'S FOR FRIENDS? Billsfan709: To see where I'm coming from read "I was a sucker Parts I & II" under tell your story..3-4 of my Stbx's ex-boyfriends were friends of ours during our relationship..she had an affair with one's wife and left me for another one..She tells me she wants to still be friends..probably just like the rest of those poor dopes..maybe in a year or two have dinner, a few laughs..the only problem is, I hate her guts, and probably will for a LONG, LONG time. She did me so wrong..She is acting like we were high school boyfriend and girlfriend who broke up because we were going to different colleges, not like we were together for 3 1/2 years and married for two. She emails me, calls me, and each time I'm traumatized. She thinks I still love her. It's crazy. When my divorce is final (please God, this week..I'm going to tell her what I think of her, and that I never want to speak to her again. I've only been making nice during this time so she doesn't give me hard time about signing any paperwork.
Re: X'S FOR FRIENDS? bendeceived2003: As everyone has said, I think that it depends on your situation.... With my particular case, we are friends and even hoping for a reconciliation. We didn't fight in our marriage and actually communicated pretty well. There was just on little problem: He has almost landed us in bankruptcy and lied to me more times than I can count about financial matters. As I told him, it's not the $$ as much as it is the lies!!!!!!!!!
However, if I could ever see that he grew up and decided to be an adult, I would be willing to try again. We actually talk better and enjoy each other more without the stress of the "marriage". How sad!@!!
Re: X'S FOR FRIENDS? FunkyDiva: It is one of those things that may suit some and not others. I suppose you need to go with what your heart tells you and if it works then so be it. The only thing I would worry about is, where does the friendship go? Can you still be "friends" when the ex sits there and tells you they have met someone else? Can you still continue a friendship knowing the ex is moving on? Will his new partner have a problem with you being friends with the ex? I suppose there are lots of things you have to think about. There is a big difference between being civil and being friends and it is a comfort level thing. The thing you probably have to also think about is whether the ex may get the wrong idea if you are getting on really well. I suppose people generally divorce because they see their relationship as full of hurt and betrayal and then how can you be friends with that person?? Would you go out and choose a friend who mistreated you?
:-/
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