What would you do? AmyMarie1972: Hi everyone,
You are probably all saying not again!!! I am taking quite a few threads just lately I know but have another problem. Well not really a problem more a what would you do.
As you all know by now my husband walked out 6 weeks ago after 13 years and 4 children.
He has got himself a gf already and they have been together for a week.
Well I know for a fact that he has already cheated on her which I know it shouldn't but does make me smile. He never cheated on me in the 13 years that we were together and he hasn't even managed a week with her. He is going through one of those mid-life things and is currently on anti-depressants at the moment.
Well here is the question what would you do? Would you just let them carry on with it and think well she will find out eventually anyway, or would you tell her? I know that the second one would be really horrible thing to do just really very tempting and a part of me is thinking revenge is sweet.
I know you will probably all say just leave it but it really is sooooo very tempting especially if no-one finds out it was me who said anything.
What would all of you do?
Re:What would you do? soTiredOfHurting: As tempting as it would be, I would leave it alone. Like with my STBXW, I try not to let her in my mind at all. I am no longer responsible for anything that goes on with her and quite frankly don't care what goes on with her. She has made her choices, eventually the consequences will come for her so it is not something that I need to worry about.
I focus on me and what is going to happen to me here shortly. I have a lot that I am looking forward to. If it was me that is what I would do, leave it be and let it play out. Maybe she will find out, maybe not. I wouldn't give it the mental energy to be concerned with it though.
Re:What would you do? ww9111: sTOH hit it right on.
Let it go and let him make his mistakes. Karma will eventually catch up to him.
I don't know where your situation is as far as timeline for your divorce but I wouldn't do anything to rock the boat right now if things are moving along in a manner you are comfortable with.
Further, if you have to interact with him due to the children you would like to keep that interaction as friendly as possible for the kids' sake.
Just my opinion. :)
Re:What would you do? caringmom: Ok, let me just tell this little story. My ex cheated on me quite alot. Yes it was stupid to stay with him, but I had kids, I loved him and I tried not to break things up. But anyway, he left me for the last girl he cheated with and we got divorced.
Probably a couple months down the road, I had to go pick something up at their place. She wasn't there. So he and I were alone in their place. We just sat and talked and well then one thing lead to another. Yes, he cheated on her with me. Then I walked out not wanting him anymore. For whatever reason sleeping with him didn't even phase me. It happened, it was over and that was that. I left there feeling I could really put the past behind me.
The best part to me was, a few weeks after that, I had to go back over for something, it had to do with the kids. She and I were in the room alone and she asked me if anything happened when I was over a couple weeks earlier. I thought about my answer very briefly, and then cheerfully answered yes. It wasn't too long after that, she kicked him out of the house. He tried to come back home, but it was so over, I didn't even hesitate in telling him no.
Now, I told her that because she asked and it was with me. I felt I had the right to answer her question with the truth. And I really wanted to see how she liked it. That was so terrible, but god it was so good to see her hurt. Like they say, what goes around comes around. Just so you know, she did know she was sleeping with a married man with children.
I know it's along way around with answering your question, but I just thought the story was pretty funny.
With your situation, I would say no. God it would be so tempting, but I really don't think you should. Somehow,it will probably get back that it was you. I don't know how your situation is with your husband, but that might cause alot more extra friction between you two, that you really don't need.
Take care and good luck to you!! Let me know what you decide to do.
CM
Re:What would you do? riversandlakes: [quote author=caringmom link=board=1;threadid=9510;start=0#msg75311 date=1112212362">
Ok, let me just tell this little story. My ex cheated on me quite alot. Yes it was stupid to stay with him, but I had kids, I loved him and I tried not to break things up. But anyway, he left me for the last girl he cheated with and we got divorced.
Probably a couple months down the road, I had to go pick something up at their place. She wasn't there. So he and I were alone in their place. We just sat and talked and well then one thing lead to another. Yes, he cheated on her with me. Then I walked out not wanting him anymore. For whatever reason sleeping with him didn't even phase me. It happened, it was over and that was that. I left there feeling I could really put the past behind me.
The best part to me was, a few weeks after that, I had to go back over for something, it had to do with the kids. She and I were in the room alone and she asked me if anything happened when I was over a couple weeks earlier. I thought about my answer very briefly, and then cheerfully answered yes. It wasn't too long after that, she kicked him out of the house. He tried to come back home, but it was so over, I didn't even hesitate in telling him no.
Now, I told her that because she asked and it was with me. I felt I had the right to answer her question with the truth. And I really wanted to see how she liked it. That was so terrible, but god it was so good to see her hurt. Like they say, what goes around comes around.
I know it's along way around with answering your question, but I just thought the story was pretty funny.
With your situation, I would say no. God it would be so tempting, but I really don't think you should. Somehow,it will probably get back that it was you. I don't know how your situation is with your husband, but that might cause alot more extra friction between you two, that you really don't need.
Take care and good luck to you!! Let me know what you decide to do.
CM
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wow, caringmom, you rock!
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