maybe not wonderful, but good Ladybug: Guess what? My XH and I just had a disagreement that didn't escalate into name calling and B*t*hing. I almost ended a sentence with "so quit whining" and I really wanted to say "You made your bed, so sleep in it." but I bit my tongue and didn’t. :P
Tongue hurts now! :D
Re:maybe not wonderful, but good summerparis: Good for you, Ladybug. Ending a disagreement without fighting does wonders for your peace of mind and self esteem. It also facilitates the process of moving on. My boss gave me an excellent piece of advice, which was: don't engage in the ex's craziness when he tries to pick a fight. Stay as unemotional and non-reactive as possible.
My ex still tries to push my buttons about once a week, and I've learned to make a habit of listening to him without engaging. Getting that distance has helped me realize that he tries to pick fights with me when he's feeling stressed out about something in his own life and wants to shift the focus/blame on to me.
Re:maybe not wonderful, but good dj: Are you kidding...I, for one, find this to be extremely WONDERFUL! Good for you. This is a huge step.
dj
Re:maybe not wonderful, but good Ladybug: Hey dj
I just got around t reading your response on this post. Just wanted to say thanks. Unfortunately we had a little bit of a step backwards this last week. We both got a little pissy with each other, it did last long and we're being civil again.
It seems that I am pretty much in control of how this goes. He pretty much follows my lead. If I let him get to me and respond negatively...he responds the same way and it stays negative til I say, "Hey, I’m over it now." The funny thing is, I think this is the only thing in our entire relationship that I've been in control of...lol (little exaggeration there...He did let me have control over one or two things..lol)
