Fairly Newlywed, No kids, not happy fupped: I was married in Jully 2004. My husband is a great guy. He works hard, and loves me greatly. We have a great trust for each other and are a great team! But... I am no longer happy. Our lives are going in different paths. We are 27, I want to live in a big city (as we do now), I do not want children and want to work on my career. He wants kids and wants to move to the country. He wants to start a business and have me run the finacial part - not using my degree!!!! (Biology) I want no part of this!!!! I love him, but he no longer makes me happy... someone with the same situation, please help me.... I am so confused. I dont want to lose something that I love, but also do not want to compromise my life and my dreams!
Re:Fairly Newlywed, No kids, not happy falling: What did you talk about your live aspirations before ya'll got married?
Re:Fairly Newlywed, No kids, not happy isotope: Have you spoken to him about this and told him how you feel ?? Maybe he doesn't know that you feel so strongly about this ?
Good luck, keep us informed
Re:Fairly Newlywed, No kids, not happy rcmorrison: I too was a newlywed, got married August 2004, but now am divorcing after only 3 months of marriage. We discussed our lives, but in all honesty, I was the one losing. We're divorcing over a lie told by his son.
I have a BSBA degree and I worked as a Technical Officer for Pegasus Solutions in Dallas, TX. Prior to marriage, we agreed that I would work the remainder of 2004 in Texas and move to Wisconsin at the beginning of 2005.
I flew to Chicago on Aug 5th and we got married on the next day. I flew back to Texas on the 10th and then he decides that he wanted me there with him for good. I didn't want to give up my career just yet, but he put me in a bad position...either I'm with him or against him....I knew that I loved him very much and he was my husband.
I gave my notice and on Aug 27th, I flew to Chicago for good. I walked away from a career to be wife and stepmom and wasn't appreciated for my sacrifices by neither.
Everyday was met with sarcasm and mockery from his son and when I confronted my husband about it, I was not supported.
Looking for work was a nightmare because my husband didn't want me to work, in fact, he would catch my calls and give me the wrong information so that I would be extremely late for my appointments. What he wanted was for me to take care of his son and his home. I was slowly dying...my independence was slowly leaving and I hated what I was becoming...miserable.
His son did things to me that I could not control. He would antagonize, try to attack me when his dad was gone and then lie about it. I started resenting his son and keeping my distance away from him because he's such a big kid for his age and I just didn't have the strength to fight him off me everyday.
One day, I got a call about a possible burgular in the area, so I went to check out the garage and my stepson lunged out at me and I fell back. I tried to grab the dining room chair to brace my fall, but it fell against the wall and struck him on his leg.
He stated that I hit him with the chair and he ran to his room and started calling his parents and everyone he could think of. That was the worse day of my life, but it made me think of what I needed to do.
Two weeks went by after that incident and my husband and I had a discussion about me returning to Texas to rejuvenate myself. The next day, we got into an argument and I left for good and have not looked back since.
My husband feels that I am a danger to him and his precious son, but I'm not.....they just pushed me to the edge and I broke down.
En route to Texas, he calls me to inform me that he will be filing for divorce...this was Oct 19th, so from that time to now, I have had very little communication with him. To be honest, I don't feel that I exist to him and he doesn't have any regret about anything.
What should have been a loving relationship that started from a GREAT friendship in 2000 had turned out to be the worse marriage and the last marriage that I will ever have.
I still love him...not a day goes by that I don't think of him and long for him, but I can't be with him until he controls his son and himself. He's not the same man that I fell in love with....that man had a heart and cared about my feelings. What I married was a man miserable with a son that he could not control.
Re:Fairly Newlywed, No kids, not happy AmyMarie1972: You are going to have to talk to your husband and see if there is any way of reaching a compromise. can't he start a business in the city?
When you say that you don't want kids is that permanant or just for the next few years?
Having children is a really important thing for some people and if one does and the other does not then there really is no compromise with it. If you dont want them and that is ever you have got to tell him this and tell him now rather than let this all drag on for months watching things get worse.
He may decide that being with you is the number one thing that he wants. But you really have got to talk about it all.
Good luck
