Does Moving Away Help? TheMusicWoman: a few ppl have advised me to move away (as in out of state) as fast as possible to help the healing process. I am considering moving in nov/ december. and yes, i'm nervous to be far away from my ex. after 11 years, i can't imagine not having coffee in the same town, let alone the fact that we still see each other frequently and on purpose. (maybe 1-2 times a week, usually for coffee or to trade the dogs - we have "joint custody" over our dogs, and trade them every two weeks).
anyway, does anyone have thoughts on the moving away concept?
Re: Does Moving Away Help? inebr: IMHO a geographical move would probably be temporarity distracting but not a cure. Even if you're far away, you'll still have to deal with getting through this and it might be that once you settle in you'll miss "home" and the support network you have established there.
Maybe a nice getaway somewhere beautiful woudl be nicely distracting yet not such a big and permanent move...
Re: Does Moving Away Help? JASPER: I dont think running away is the answer either just a temporary band aid.I know its a long healing process but we all must began it we can not run from it.Good luck and God bless.
Re: Does Moving Away Help? dave13: I couldn't wait to get out of my home state! I never ever ever want to go live there again. Moving someplace new can be a great experiance and a way to learn even more about yourself. I have been able to make more friends than I have ever had before. Is there is somewhere you have always thought about? You can move there and make your very own special life.
That being said... It isn't easy. Yes you will carry all the pain and turmiol with you. You have to be willing to make the financial sacrifice and look for another job. If you have close friends or family they will not be readily available to you. You are going to be alone a lot more often for a while. You have to get lost in a new town for a bit. Not all of which are bad things.
There is only so far you can get from your ex, but not being next door helps. Perhaps you deserve a vacation and takng a couple trips will help. Then again if you are not careful you will carry all that pain with you on your trip too. Take it from me, a great place can be pretty darn ugly when you are hurting inside. Try to have a good friend.
Of course only you can say. Now is a time when you can make great change, but it should probably be something that you really want to do. I was a thousand miles away, but that email from my ex would send my heart racing. Ghosts can have a way of following us, but you deserve to get out there and grab something of the world if you want it.
Re: Does Moving Away Help? achingallover: In moving away, I would say listen to your heart. I would also say just being without the person you loved and had coffee with every morning for 11 years is a big change. Consider all the changes in your life you are going through and decide if moving away at this point is the right time. If you move, there will be lots more changes - job, getting used to a new area, developing a new support system. If you are at the stage in this where that sounds exciting and great - then go for it. If it feels still too unstable - wait. Where ever you are thinking about moving isn't going away! It will be there when you are ready and right now, with everything you are going through, some stability can really be helpful - something you know you can depend upon. I'm not at all telling you to go or stay, just to consider if you are ready for all the changes moving will make in your life and if you are ready for those changes. Hope this helps!
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